If you could design your very own pub, what would it look like? We let our imaginations run wild to create the perfect public house.

There’s nothing quite like a pub. The bar snacks, the banter, the beer (both alcoholic and non-alcoholic). The local public house is a treasured thing, and a welcome sight after a long day on site or on the road. Some clever and resourceful folks even go that extra mile and set up their own locals in their own homes!

That got us thinking: what if you could design your own pub? Not a home-made one, but a real bricks and mortar local. What better way to test the creative metal of our tradespeople?

Here are some ideas to get you started from our own Trade Direct perfect pub.


1. Two-sided darts wall

EvHow to build your dream pubery good pub should have a games area. The heat of competition is the perfect accompaniment to a refreshing beverage… and it’s also a good opportunity to make fun of your mates. We’re big fans of darts here, so a dart board is essential. But the age-old problem with a dart board is pubs usually only have one. If the board is taken you’ve got to wait your turn. That’s why we’d ask our builders to put in a partition wall that divides the games area. On either side there’s a dart board, so you can have two games going at once. It’s also handy for privacy if you’re a nervous player…or if you’re terrible at darts.


2. Open fireplace or indoor BBQ?

How to build your dream pubA roaring fireplace is guaranteed to warm the coldest of cockles. Whether it’s for toasting your toes or for good old fashioned ambiance, the fireplace is a must-have for our dream pub. But why stop there? Fire’s been around for at least a hundred years or so and has other uses other than heat and light – like cooking! Our dream builders would install cast-iron skewer-holders across the outer frame of our fireplace where patrons could rest a kebab or a few marshmallows if they get peckish. Depending on what you’re cooking you just set the built-in timers (thanks to our dream electricians for putting those in) and wait for the DING!


3. Drink-ordering booths

Even the sleepiest pubs will get the occasional rowdy punter elbowing his way to the front of the bar ahead of patient patrons. You can either tut about it or you can build the solution! Most of the length of our bar would be divided into individual booths wide enough for one person each. Think the post office but with more pork scratchings. Each person gets served in turn with little to no fuss.


4. The beer garden to end all beer gardens

How to build your dream pubThis September has seen some of the hottest days on record, so a beer garden is still an absolute necessity. We’d get a landscape gardener in to construct our acres-wide beer garden with stone paving on a completely flat stretch of land (to avoid tipsy trips). We’d have a fleet of benches, parasols and patio heaters to cover our customers from day to night. What about when it comes to winter? We’ll have a timber frame set up to erect an enormous marquee that can be used all winter-long.


5. Mood signs

Sometimes you want a quiet night. Other times you want a rowdy night. But how do you make sure that everyone in your pub knows the deal? Introducing our patented mood signs. They operate like standard open/closed signs attached to the front door. But instead letting you know if the pub is open, they tell you what the energy level is. The signs will range from “Old men playing draughts” to “Act like we just won the World Cup”. That way potential drinkers will know if our perfect pub is gonna make their perfect night.


6. Finger-click-activated light fixturesHow to build your dream pub

We’ve only included this because clicking your fingers to get a pub-workers attention can be really lame. They basically work like clap-on lights, but with finger clicks. Snap your fingers, the lights go out. Trust us, people won’t do it more than once. I mean, they’ll have to do it twice to put the lights back on, but you get the idea. We’re not 100% sure if these are even possible, though. Could any electricians help us out?


It’s still a dream at the moment, but if there are any builders, plumbers, electricians or decorators who’d like to help us make this a reality that would be great!


What would you add to your ideal pub? Is ours even close?

When we’re not designing ridiculous pubs we help tradespeople protect their business with quality Public Liability policies at great prices.

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